Promontorium's Xanga

Done

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 23:12:32 GMT

I started this place because I thought it was a really awesome idea to be able to have your own site. That was Sept. 04, a couple months later I started a myspace profile. I didn't start using it until late 2005. Now I am hooked on that. I do like the free reign of Xanga as far as laying down essays, but myspace kicks ass in most other fields, so I think I'm mostly done here. I kept this place "Blog free" so all my stuff here isn't just crap. This site will always be here. I am quite proud of much of what I have written here, so, si quieres aprender sobre mi vida, go to myspace.com/promontorium. If you want to learn about the rest of the world, stay here.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 03:48:24 GMT

Old Stuff #9

Julyish 2002

Jane

(I wrote this the day after I finished reading “Children of the Mind” by Orson Scott Card)

Jane, Jane why has it come to this?

It is your sound I miss

I must die for you to stay alive.

I desire to touch you, I desire to love you

Three thousand years and not a single kiss

Jane, Jane why has it come to this?

I’m sorry I cut you off,

I killed you once but never again,

I love you now and to the end.

I saw you whisper in his ear

And his ear, no soul there

Now I locked myself in here just to get some sex this year

And I must die, for you to stay alive

Jane, Jane why has it come to this?

Your mind from my body

And your body from my mind

You’re my daughter in my sister and I love you.

Please don’t kiss him, he is my son

And you are the one I want.

Now I must die, for you to stay alive

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 03:46:34 GMT

Old Stuff #8

Political “Songs” Collection

October-December 2001

13 months Before reading Ayn Rand

Thesaurus

Knowledge isn’t power, everything I say is true, go ahead and cry, I do not mind

I cannot be correct all the time. Provided I utter incessantly, granting I only articulate when I am knowing, I appear to be unremittingly accurate.

There is a programming error in those who develop first impressions and never expand them.

There is a programming error in those who lack attraction to the inverse.

There is a programming error in those who hate the ones with more apparent errors

There is evil in those who act on that hate, for the hate…

We are all flawed.

To act on it is evil to behave for it is evil

Enjoy sadness sadist

Talk softly, then scream

Pretend what you’re saying means something,

So when your dead and gone, the cookie cutter cut you out.

You’re not left as scum, or in the bowl

You’re half baked, clichéd, wrapped up and eaten

Yummy, yummy, I’ve had this before

Everything is awry, wallow in pity

Everything is consummate, happy, happy, joy, joy

There is a programming error in those who think anything is everything and carry broad brushes and paint the world red or blue or you.

Here’s the climax, without it you wouldn’t listen right?

Gold’s not good enough

absolute truth isn’t enough

philosophy

so now I scream

I understand I’m no better,

But try wallowing in truth for once

Love truth, for it is you.

Infinity is you

Love what you know

This is wallowing, this is truth, this is infinity

Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, Infinity, am I annoying you, would it be more cookie cutter if I repeated I love you?

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 03:45:15 GMT

Old Stuff #7

Political “Songs” Collection

October-December 2001

13 months Before reading Ayn Rand

Life

The only reason anyone ever does anything, believes anything, feels anything, knows anything, senses anything!

The only reason anyone ever does anything, says anything, cries anything, teaches anything, preaches anything, grabs onto burning stenched rotten eats anything!

We are machines; we are nothing more than advanced programming

It’s a spectrum; it’s a spectrum, a spectrum, a spectrum!

The only reason anyone ever thinks anything, believes anything, feels knows, senses anything!

The only reason does anything, says anything, cries, teaches, preaches, grabs on to burning, stenched rotten eats anything!

But we can control it. We must control it.

We can exceed, we can progress, without ever taking a rest

We can exceed, we can progress physically, mentally

We can adapt, we are God

We will not die, our only limit is a function of time to space expressed on a two dimensional plane

We can exceed, we can progress, adapt! Adapt! Adapt!

We are machines; we are nothing more than advanced programming

It’s a spectrum; it’s a spectrum, a spectrum, a spectrum!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 03:44:32 GMT

Old Stuff #6

Political “Songs” Collection

October-December 2001

13 months Before reading Ayn Rand

Economy

Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, sell!

An exchange, a promise, a solid function resting on third party truth.

A physical manifestation of the existence and usefulness of government.

Secret buy, secret sell

Slackers! How can you hate money? It’s only worth as much as we work

Blame fault can only be 1^st and 2^nd, your poor, so what.

Who pays the most taxes, the rich.

Who pays the highest percent, the rich.

Who deserves the most money, those who earn the most money.

Those who give the most money

Buy, buy, buy. Sell! Sell, sell, sell,

Think, decide, perfection, improve adapt, your rich!

Hate, confuse, regress, steal, lie, you’re liberal!

Buy, buy, buy, sell, sell, sell

It makes you feel good, it must be wrong

It must be wrong

Mind and body, does thought exist?

We have hands,

Hands have sticks,

Sticks have structure,

Time, life,

You have hands,

You hold water,

Water holds life,

Structure holds life,

We exchange, life continues,

A physical exchange continues the mind,

The mind continues only through physical exchange.

Buy, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 03:42:42 GMT

Old Stuff #5

Political “Songs” Collection

October-December 2001

13 months Before reading Ayn Rand

Anarchy

The wrongest of the right, ever vigilant self righteous logic hating mother fuckers. Run around in their Levis in protest of organization and companies. If the irrational fucks want anarchy they can move their apparently rich asses to Antarctica and live off Penguins and bacteria.

Anarchy as a state could never hold, never hold

Anarchy assumes people like living in fear, living in fear

Play the political game; make sure someone cares about you,

So at least your death will be avenged.

Going against the very nature of humanity in supposing somehow evil people will stop killing and raping once there’s no longer anyone trying to stop them.

I bet half you shitheads don’t know it was proposed by a commi, your worst enemy

Cause it’s easier to control the masses when their only means of defense are sticks.

I say we gather up all the anarchists and boot their asses out of this country for treason

Those anti-globalization haters of food should try living in Angola.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 03:31:42 GMT

Old Stuff #4

Late 2004?

Modern Fantasy

I You We all wrong can’t be all wrong. Opinion. Rape the innocent

Glorify the decadence. The innocent shall be fucked.

Black cotton, white skin tight underwear. Plaid criss-cross steel virginity.

May all perish before her. I You We want her to cry once and never again.

She can stab herself, pierce herself. Feel it in your mouth. You need it.

I You We will make you feel good, they hurt you. You take care of yourself.

Whore. Black hair, eyes, lips. Taste the alcohol and cigarettes. Lick her teeth clean.

I You We see you in the street. Use it. It’s your fault. Run. It’s your fault.

I You We love you. It is your fault

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 07:52:52 GMT

Perfection

For you I spent my days in a house.

I felt your warmth underneath the sheets and knew that this was all I wanted.

You were there for me, and I was there for you.

We were the means to our own ends.

But you wanted more

I wanted more

You did not ask, and neither did I.

For 2 weeks this went on.

I am not perfect, you know.

I did not think you were either.

But I could not desire anything but you.

We parted when we had to.

I just wanted to let you know, though we hardly spoke, I remember your voice.

Though we hardly touched, I remember your skin.

Though I hardly dared to look deep into your eyes and feel the burn of all my flaws and desires battling in the glimmer of you, I remember you, and I am happy.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 02:23:39 GMT

I Feel a Rant Coming

Kanye West. Lord of War. Thanksgiving. Fuck it. I went from being a Green to a Republican because of a man named Michael Savage. I am no longer a “Republican” but so much more. Dr. Savage inspired me to question that which is glazed over. Dr. Laura inspired in me defined morality.

Fuck you Michael you god damn hypocrite. Fuck New Orleans. Die. Similarly fuck you Kanye West you dumb fuck. If George Bush hated black people Miss Rice would only be a sad Republican mentioned as a fool in an old issue of Rolling Stone. NO SHUT THE FUCK UP! Racists don’t hide their Racism by doing non racist things. It is the essence of action that defines reality. The act defines itself. Woodrow Wilson hated black people. Democrats hate black people. I hate Kanye West.

Michael Savage let me down these last few weeks. He has gone against the philosophy of life and held idols as gods. Christianity doesn’t need “under God”. Politics need “under God” In the media I have only heard reference to Objectivist once, ever. An Objectivist was trashed by Michael Savage who claimed he worshiped Ayn Rand. Michael Savage’s contention being that Rand was a Russian therefore must have been a Socialist. What? Way to go with living up to my expectations that you not glaze over small details like what Ayn Rand devoted her life to, before insulting a man on national air because you’re so upset about “under God” being contested by “The people’s atheist” Michael Newdow. You cry for the wire-tapping of every Mosque in the Nation. You have lost it. Fuck “under God” and not because it’s religious, but because it’s political. It was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in the fifties by an act of congress. It makes me sick to think I had to recite that shit because politics demanded it.

New Orleans isn’t worth the cost. Our shitty government is going to give the equivalent of $200,000 per person to New Orleans. Sounds like they all won the lottery. Meanwhile the rest of America will go into recession. I’m one who doesn’t believe in any sacrifice, but saving a “Sinful” city at the cost of an entire nation is beyond retarded. New Orleans won’t be a city in a couple hundred years anyway. The whole area has been steadily falling into the Gulf. Fuck the levies; I’m talking about the Gulf of Mexico. It will wash away all of it.

I do suppose its Bush’s fault that the rescuers couldn’t come in sooner, because Bush didn’t order Daisy Cutters to be dropped to clear out the armed looters. The argument is that the President of the United States didn’t get a bus a drive into New Orleans BEFORE the levies broke and miraculously persuade every man woman and child to leave. Because it IS AFTER ALL the President’s job to save people from floods. Wait no I am mistaken, it is the President’s job to force every Mayor in America to spend everything possible to protect every city in America from every possible NATURAL DISASTER. And to send all of Earth’s natural resources to a disaster ridden area and miraculously dodge bullets Matrix style as looters celebrate. Federal agents should be paid $50,000 a year to live in boats on wheels on the edges of every city in America with millions of dollars of emergency supplies in case the Mayors' endless budgets don’t prevent temperatures from changing, the seas from rising, the rain from falling, the wind from blowing, the continents to shift. In fact we should just stab everyone on Earth and use their blood and guts to build a bridge that the New Orleans refugees can use to cross in and out of Texas. Then we should give Texas to the New Orleans Refugees, and send the current residents to New Mexico.

Never mind the fact rescuers got into New Orleans FASTER than they did in previous devastated areas, despite the looters, the constant problem of water, and complete lack of “government”. They were ‘too slow’. An entire city went under water, and less than one percent of its people died.

When I was living in San Francisco I was poor. Really poor. My meals were free at school so all we needed was dinner and a place to sleep. All my clothes were Goodwill. All the places I slept were “goodwill” as well. We slept in living rooms, shelters and hotels. The “Covered Wagon” was a classic, located in what FOX 2 called the most dangerous area in San Francisco, the CW is better known for its first floor live music bar, the second floor is painfully aware of this. Every day was a challenge, where will we sleep, how am I going to scrounge up $1.10 to pay for the bus for my brother, sister, and me? We had no stable location, save one, the library. I would meet my family at the Parkside Library because it was near our schools. For consistency’s sake I’ll say my mother told us in the event of emergency we were to proceed to the library no matter what, so we could come together, and leave town. We were poor as fuck, but that wouldn’t have kept us from getting out of dodge. To the discredit of New Orleans even I new it was below sea level and to be sure my Mother would have made our meeting point above the water line. I’m just saying being poor isn’t an excuse to be stranded in a city. If you have legs, walk or swim. In this library I certainly didn’t do a whole lot of homework, hence my being in the Navy, not college. I did read. I read more books in that library in two years than all the books I had ever read in the 16 previous years. One of the books I read a little was “Lies My Teacher Told Me” Which I recently purchased. The book reveals to those fortunate enough to gaze upon it that our history books are written like the Pledge of Allegiance. Columbus not only didn’t discover anything, but he committed genocide. He completely depopulated Cuba and Haiti in his conquests of 1493. I have been fortunate enough to learn that pre Euro intrusion into America, the population was about 20 million. The plague from Europe wiped out 95% of the people, and the Pilgrims killed the rest with poisons and guns. Thanksgiving is a celebration of racist, immoral “God –fearing” Europeans raping and pillaging and enslaving. Woodrow Wilson hated black people, in fact he hated everyone who wasn’t a white male, and even then they had to be American born and proud of it. Wilson so thoroughly waged war on the people of South America that there wasn’t a year of his presidency that didn’t have Marines killing foreigners. He forced communist dictatorships into power. His successors had to adopt what was known as a “Good Neighbor Policy” to counter act Wilson’s wrath. Helen Keller was a raging communist; she even helped found the ACLU. At the start of the Russian revolution she screamed support for the Reds, while Wilson sent Marines to die in Vladivostok fighting in a foreign country’s civil war. What does this have to do with anything? It all relates to me. I see that not only is our country built on lies, but can’t wait to destroy itself to save stupid poor people. I see the people I thought were sensible aren’t even in the ballpark. I used to think the US had a good 200 years left in it. Now I see America never was, and can’t wait to prove it.

Meanwhile I got the “Lord of War” monkey on my back. It was an intense movie. I don’t doubt its claimed level of veracity, but its conclusions are left unquestioned. I must question them. Because it is yet another anti-gun movie. This time a really good one. I am excessively pro-gun, I believe eight year old should be able to own AK-47s, I believe civilians should be able to possess RPGs. I see no limit. Arm everyone. BUT, this movie makes a strong case against such a venture. Enough to keep me quiet for two days. I am after all an Objectivist, and I do value truth above all. I thought about where Nick Cage’s character went wrong. I easily defined his immorality of being adulterous and a liar. But the selling of guns to killers isn’t clear cut. Moral standards dictate that a man of justice would not sell weapons to men who clearly intend to use them in immoral ways. The conclusion I made is that I would have been with Cage through it all until he fucked over his brother to save his own life and make money. I contend that a man of justice would have refused to sell the weapons to men who were about to slaughter other people. The conflict was that the murderers would have killed Cage’s character if he didn’t sell them the weapons, but a rational man wouldn’t have put himself in such a situation. For arguments sake if such an unfortunate event did occur where my hypothetical moral arms dealer where faced with such a decision, this person should have acted nether like Cage’s character, nor his suicidal brother, instead he should have casually walked over to the merchandise, armed himself, and taken his chances, even if his own death is the result. I don’t believe in sacrifice, nor do I believe dying while defending your morality is sacrifice. I do believe guns are objects of men and they are neither good nor evil, but can be used for both. I support the moral use of weapons. I guess I would be the “Mr. Wise” character who curiously shares my last name. Although his decisions later in the movie completely contradict his original declaration of standards when he said, “Choose sides.” I say choose sides as well, but on a smaller more infinite scale, 0 or 1, 1 or 0. Individual all the way.

This about wraps up this horrible rant, I really only wrote it to kill time while my stupid ship pulls in. I can’t believe I have to wait ashore. It’s actually more frustrating than when I’m onboard waiting to pull in. Here on shore I have freedom taunting me. I can see it but I can’t touch it, I just wait and wait.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 11:46:49 GMT

Social Culture vs. Individual Culture

Cultures can be broken down all kinds of ways and re-arranged and categorized and blown up. In fact culture is an arbitrary word that means almost nothing and applies to anything. If for example I happen to be in a certain division on a certain ship that routinely practices eating babies, well that’s a culture. And if the babies are always fresh, compared to other divisions on the ship that sometimes eat rotten babies, well that’s what we learned folk call “cultural diversity”. Social culture is what I call any culture ascribed to a person, and people that is purely aesthetic in nature. Not the culture itself, but the ascribing, in fact I should probably rewrite these sentences so that when I read them later they make sense. Individual culture is practiced by individuals in groups. That is people who chose to be a part of a culture. For an example, the chief of my division is practicing his individual culture when he eats babies. I don’t eat the babies, but because the people around me do, I am a part of a social culture of baby eating. If none of this makes sense tjofghjvg,,

I call it Social culture because I hate it like I hate Socialism

If you were born in America you are an American. Americans eat white bread, buy stuff, and are Satan. You may not necessarily do any of these things but you are still an American. Because when your mom squirted out a pile of goo that included lumps of meat that eventually came to be your limbs, she did it in the current legal border of the United States. Magical United States beams then filled you with American culture and your fate was sealed. Enjoy your white bread Yank.

As if this weren’t enough. You are then educated on maps of America that show the US floating in a white background by itself with Alaska and Hawaii close to the California coast. You see when business men in Hawaii overthrew the Queen and made Hawaii American property, it floated to its current position 80 miles west of Los Angeles. Of course it was still invisible at the time, just like Puerto Rico. Until the fateful day when the Congress made it a state and it appeared all of a sudden on projectors across the legal boundary of America. After your daily dose of Pledge of Allegiance (because being born in America is a legal and spiritual contract that you belong and therefore must either stay American, or break your unwritten word) you are told that other people exist in this world. They sucked, so we killed them, at various times for various reasons. For example, when Mexico wouldn’t call upon the Gods of border lines and redraw it to have America look bigger, we killed everyone in our path to the capital. I say we, because anyone who ever did anything in America ever is a part of us, and only us. No one in Mexico is a part of us, that’s why its “we killed them” not “we killed us” or the unthinkable “They killed them.” Should you decide to break the binds of your contract and join another culture that is defined by its natural or political boundaries, you are forever branded with the “American” title. As anyone or their Great, Great, Great, Great, Great Grandchild is eternally tacked with the previous boundaries they occupied. For example I have a friend who is African-American because 200 years ago somebody blood (therefore eternally) related to him probably lived somewhere in the fluctuating boundaries of Africa. I say probably because we all just assume he’s African-American, he’s definitely American, because I can see him, and anyone who isn’t American is invisible, but the African part we deduce from his black skin. And by black, I mean more plentiful in melanin than my Filipino friend. Of course since America is the most important country in the world, anywhere you go to live you will always be American. For example if I gain citizenship in Japan, I am not an American-Japanese; I am an American with Japanese citizenship. It should also be noted that any place in America you are born defines what kind of American you are. For example, I was born in Stockton California, therefore I will always be a Californian, and in California I will always be a farmer. I haven’t actually farmed before, but Stockton is surrounded by farms, so anyone from Stockton gets farm waves injected into them at birth.

Anything associated with anything associated with you is you. For example, Tupac Shakur did stuff that others called rap. Rap consists of saying words, and sometimes rhyming them, usually accompanied by other indefinable sounds. Although the definition is shaky and rhymed words can by accompanied by sounds, and even be said by Tupac and still not be called rap, but rap still exists physically. So because he said the words with the sounds that others called rap, and my African-American friend is black, it’s a part of his culture. My friend doesn’t like rap, but I do, I am not black so I am an outsider. I will never belong, I grew up listening to Snoop and Biggie, always humming the words I wasn’t allowed to say, but you understand don’t you?

Food is real. And is a part of culture. For example, if I take corn and mash it up into a ball and spit on it, and mash it, and spit on it and mash it some more, then fry it and eat it, I am eating South American food. If I take the corn and boil the shit out of it, then dry it out, then mash it, I am eating American food, but more specifically “Southern food”. And if I take the corn whole and throw it in a microwave for 15 seconds, I am eating Ramon food, which is neither here nor there, but I suggest you try it, Ramon made a believer out of me.

I hope this explains social culture in a manner so fucked up and incomprehensible that you come to realize, this is the nature of social culture, and anyone that can try to claim any of the shit I spewed is tangible and not arbitrary (except for Ramon food which is awesome) is either a fucking moron or a liar.

Individual culture is un-American

If I decide to build houses for a living, regardless of who or where I am, I must first learn how to build houses, and then build them. The next thing might be to go where people like houses built and spend time there. I might even spend time with people who A. Have houses, or B. Want a house or several, simultaneously. Thusly I would be in an individual culture of house building. My eating habits would consist of food native to places that are near where I build houses. My hands may become callused and worn, to the point I would routinely wear gloves. I may try to avoid losing toes by wearing steel toed boots, and may enjoy pockets in my sturdy pants and shirts. I may also wear a hard hat. I would try to keep clean, but it would be hard and I wouldn’t be inclined to eat out, or go shopping before I showered. I may start to speak louder and more hoarsely while simplifying my vocabulary all to enhance my building of houses. I am in an individual culture, shared with others, not others exactly like me, but others whose actions help me, or my actions help them, either way a culture is formed, I chose it, and it consists entirely of my preferences, not arbitrary lines in the sand, ways of cooking, or skin color.

Truth by its very nature is simple.